Babysitting
by FoxFoot
Summary: The team is bored and need something to do. Fox calls Pepper and gets a babysitting job. And Leo will be involved at some point in time.
1. The Mission kinda sorta

Fox sat in his command chair in the bridge on the mother ship, the Great Fox. He was spinning around slowly since he was bored out of his mind from not having any missions for about two weeks running. He sighed now bored of spinning and started watching R.O.B. work. R.O.B. was running the daily systems check on the Great Fox and checking the status of the shields, guns, and engine. Peppy, being the oldest member of the team, was sleeping at his chair where he makes maps like for Dinosaur Planet, now named Sauria. Fox glanced over to Falco who was sitting at on a chair, leaning back with his feet on the table while strumming on his bass guitar. He looked behind him and saw Krystal meditating with a ring of white around her by the door leading to the living quarters. Slippy was modifying more and more of the ship out of boredom and possibly to make something cool happen. Fox rested his cheek on his hand with his elbow on the arm rest and tapped a few buttons on his command chair and brought up a holo-screen with General Pepper.

"Ah, Star Fox. What can I do for you?" asked General Pepper while filing some documents.

Well general, the team hasn't had any assignments in two weeks now and everyone has nothing to do to entertain themselves and…well…is there anything at all we can do?" asked Fox with a hint of begging in his voice.

"Hmm, well I'm sorry but we have no need for mercenaries as yourselves at the moment," he said putting his hands together and looking at Fox.

"Please general! We'll take anything! Stopping a bank robbery, guard duty, baby-sitting-" Fox was interrupted as Pepper began to speak.

"Baby-sitting you say? Well than we have an opening Star Fox!" he said rather excited.

"Baby-sitting? Fox, are you that desperate?" asked Falco as he put down his bass.

"…Yes…now shut up. As you were saying general?" he said flatly.

"Well my niece needs to be baby-sat as I attend a very important business transaction with another general. But I warn you, my niece is a huge fan of yours and uh…she may act a little…iffy around you," he said stretching the word iffy.

"If she's anything like other fans, it shouldn't be too hard," he said making it sound easy, unknowingly, it's not.

"So do you accept baby-sitting my niece?"

"Yes I do general."

"Fantastic! I'll send my address and everything you need to know about my niece! I'll keep in touch. Pepper out," then the holo-screen closed.

"Finally! Something to do! Just with a much cheaper pay," said Fox with a grin on his face.

"Do you think you can handle it?" asked Peppy as he turned to face Fox.

"Sure we can!" said Falco butting in.

"Maturely," added Peppy in a monotone…tone.

"Hey! I can be just as mature as anyone else here!…I just don't want to," he said crossing his arms.

"Yeah, yeah, stop lying. So, who wants to come with me?"

"I will," said Krystal as she stood up and walked next to Fox.

"Anyone else?"

"I will. Nothing better to do," said Falco also walking next to Fox.

"Okay guys, here's all the info you'll need about Pepper's niece. Remember she may act iffy around you in particular Fox," Peppy warned.

"I'll be fine. I got Krystal and Falco. Let's get going."

Fox, Falco, and Krystal all boarded their Arwings and flew down to Corneria to begin baby-sitting Pepper's niece.


	2. This type of thing almost never happens

Fox, Falco, and Krystal all arrived at Pepper's mansion after leaving their Arwings' in a Cornerian base. They stood in the front of the mansion, admiring it's beauty, except for Falco who had his typical bad boy attitude.

"Can we go in now?" asked Falco who was getting impatient.

"It's so beautiful! This must've cost a fortune!" said Krystal appalled by the mansion.

"Well let's go in and meet Pepper's niece," said Fox walking to the door.

Falco walked with Fox up to the door followed by Krystal after she was done admiring the mansion on the outside. Fox was about to ring the doorbell when Pepper's niece opened the door, slamming it against the wall leaving a dent the size of the door knob.

"Oh my god! You're Fox McCloud!" screamed Pepper's niece with a high-pitched scream.

When she screamed, the three team members jumped and covered there ears until she stopped.

"Uncle Pepper! Star Fox is here!"

General Pepper walked down the stairs of the mansion holding a big, brown briefcase and wearing his usual uniform with all the shiny medals on it.

"Good afternoon, Star Fox," he said walking up to Fox.

"Good afternoon, sir. When do you expect to be back from your trip?"

"I should be returning around midnight, if I'm lucky," he said looking at his watch, "are you sure you can handle this?" he asked.

"Don't worry general we can handle this," said Falco shooing his hand, "you go ahead and make your deal or whatever."

"Okay. Now Ellie, I want you to behave and do as Fox, Falco, and Krystal say," he said crouching to her height.

"Okay uncle Pepper!" she said all cheery.

"Good. I must get going. I will see you all later. Good-bye!" he said walking out of the mansion.

"So Ellie, how old are you?" asked Fox as he was admiring the inside of the mansion.

"As old as you want me to be," she said getting closer.

"Excuse me?" he asked wondering what that meant.

"Will you marry me?" she asked staring into his emerald eyes.

"Your uh, sweet…but I'm taken," he said looking over to Krystal.

"Okay little Miss Horny dog, mind giving us a tour of your home?" asked Falco who was still looking around.

"I have no idea what you just called me. Okay, I'll give you a tour. Come on!" she said taking Fox's hand and pulling him to another room.

"That girl is going to cause some trouble," said Krystal staring at Ellie.

"You know it," said Falco, "I'm gonna get a good laugh from this hopefully," he said starting to grin.

Krystal and Falco followed Ellie as she gave them a tour of the mansion. She took them through all three floors, showed them all the rooms, where they would sleep (Ellie said Fox could stay with her, knowing he wouldn't), and where everything they need to know is.

"Okay! That's the entire mansion!" she said throwing her arms into the air.

"It's a lot bigger than I thought," said Fox who sat down on a chair, "so many stairs to climb."

"Well, it's three o'clock, how about I make a snack for everyone?" asked Krystal as she entered the kitchen.

Ellie followed Krystal and showed her the pantry with all the different types of foods she could make.

"All the good stuff is at the top so you're gonna need a stool or something. I'll go see what everyone wants," said Ellie as she went back to Fox and Falco.

_She better not trying anything funny_thought Krystal as she searched the pantry.

Ellie jumped on Fox's lap and leaned against him and asked, "What do you want to eat?"

Fox was kind of startled that she jumped onto his lap, but shrugged it off andthought about what to eat.

"Hmm, well…got any Cheese Sticks?" Fox asked looking down at Ellie.

"You mind cookin' up some chicken too?" asked Falco who was leaning against the wall trying to look all cool.

"Yeah, yeah, sure," she said not paying any attention to Falco.

"I'll be right back! Don't move!" she said ordering Fox then dashing to the kitchen.

She bumped into Krystal who was waiting to see what they wanted.

"So what do they want to eat?" asked Krystal.

"Cheese Sticks. There are many boxes of them all the way up top. And in the back. Reach really, really, really good," she said reaching up as high as she could.

"Now why would someone put them back there?"

"I don't know," she said starting to leave, "don't fall down," she said warning her.

Ellie skipped back into the living room with Fox and Falco who were now watching shows on the big screen plasma T.V.

"How many movie channels do you got on here! It never ends!" asked Falco who was amazed by the T.V.

"You got a lot of great channels on here. You must never get bored," said Fox as he was waiting for Falco to stop channel flipping.

Ellie jumped back onto Fox's lap and was getting comfortable (I mean that in the most nonsexual way) as they all began to watch T.V. Krystal walked in after setting the microwave to cook the Cheese Sticks.

"What's your favorite show Fox?"

"Mine would be-" Fox was interrupted as Falco spoke.

"Hey Fox, I just remembered, I got my psychotic cousin Leo, the nine year old who threw a knife at you? I gotta take him to the therapist again so I gotta leave you guys here. So…bye!" then herushed out he door,went back to the base,got in his Arwing, and took off.

"You know, I knew he was gonna do that today," he said pounding on his leg.

"Is something wrong Fox?"

"My leg (hit) fell asleep," he said tryingto regain the feeling in his leg.

"Let me help," said Krystal as she sat down in front of Fox.

She got on her knees and started rubbing Fox's leg to help regain the feeling in it. Ellie hopped off of Fox's leg and watched Krystal help Fox (Nothing sexual here!). Ellie started pouting now that she was getting no attention from Fox and thought of something to get Krystal out of the room.

"I think I heard the microwave go off," then as if on cue, it did, "cheese sticks are ready!"

"Be right back," said Krystal walking off to get the food.

"Man! My leg is still asleep!" said Fox trying to walk it off.

He looked like he was walking with a limp as he tried to get the feeling back into his leg. Krystal came back holding a tray of hot cheese sticks.

"Fox, sit down and lift your feet onto this leg rest."

Fox put his feet on the leg rest Krystal pulled from behind the chair and she continued massaging his leg while he and Ellie ate cheese sticks. Knowing that Krystal and Fox might be there for some time, Ellie thought of trying stuff from the movies. She picked up the phone and called several different people. Once Fox finally regained the feeling in his leg, he gave Krystal a kiss for helping him and they shared cheese sticks when they realized Ellie was gone.

"Where did she go? Ellie!" said Krystal calling for her.

"You called?" asked Ellie popping up from behind Fox's chair.

"Where did you go?"

"I called some people."

"You could've told us you were going to," said Fox, "wait a second! Who did you call?" and as if on cue again, the doorbell rang.

Fox opened the door and said, "Oh crap."


	3. In real life, this would suck so much

Fox had been staring down for about five minutes when he opened the door. Twelve kids stood at the doorway all about nine or ten years old all vulpines. They were all grinning and were holding fully loaded water guns ( like super soakers).

"Please tell me you weren't left here to be baby-sat! Please say no!" he said pleading.

One of the girls stepped in front of Fox and hugged his leg.

"Daddy!" she said grinning happily.

"Gah! I'm no one's daddy!"

"We're here for the party," said one of the little boys.

"Party? What party?" asked Fox.

Then it hit him, Ellie, the phone call. He turned towards Ellie who was trying to look as innocent as possible.

"Ellie! You told them there was a party!" he screamed angrily.

"PARTY!" cheered all the kids, then they stampeded over Fox leaving footprints on his clothes and face.

"Oh my gosh! Fox are you alright?" cried Krystal as she was helping him up.

"I feel like a carpet," he said rubbing his face and dusting himself off.

He walked inside and saw all the kids jumping around and shooting themselves with the water guns.

"Alright! All of you, stop horsing around!" shouted Fox, gaining the attention from the kids.

The twelve kids looked at each other than stared evilly at Fox and aimed their guns at him. One of those anime sweat drops appeared on Fox's head and he said, "Okay…maybe we got off on the wrong foot," then he got drenched in a barrage of water.

Fox ran as he was being sprayed with water as the twelve kids chased him around the mansion. Fox hid in a closet and locked the door, panting like crazy.

"Will you kids stop! Your acting really immature!" said Krystal sounding like their mothers'.

All the kids ran at Krystal and started spraying her as she ran everywhere in the mansion Fox didn't. Fox opened the closet door just a little bit and the door shot open as Krystal tripped over him not knowing he was there. She quickly closed the door and locked it and tried to catch her breath.

"Those…kids…are…insane," said Krystal, panting between each word.

"You know, me and you being wet and locked in the closet makes thing kinda hot," said Fox in a smooth voice (technically it would also be hot in there or very warm).

"Be horny later! We got twelve kids who want to soak us to death out there to deal with!" she said pointing to the door.

"You're right! But…what do we do?" he asked leaning against the wall.

"Maybe we could take away the guns."

"Okay, but how?"

"Maybe we could booby-trap the place. To trip them or something then we can steal their guns away."

"Good idea! Got any long pieces of something not noticeable?" asked Fox joking around.

"Who said anything about it being long or noticeable? I have something in mind though. If I'm right, we need to get into Ellie's room."

"What for?" asked Fox curiously.

"Lots and lots of marbles."

"Okay. Do you mind running some more?"

"No."

"Good, cause to get there we're gonna have to."

Fox unlocked the door and counted down from three to one, then opened the door quickly and dashed out with Krystal following him.

They made it into Ellie's room and closed the door and blocked it with her chair so the kids couldn't open it (leaning the chair against the knob so it can't turn). They turned around to look for the marbles and saw Ellie holding the jar in her hand.

"Looking for these?" asked Ellie evilly.

"The marbles! Give me those! We need them now!" screamed Krystal as she jumped at Ellie for the marbles, but missed and crashed to the floor.

"Get back here!" cried Krystal as she chased Ellie around her room trying to get the marbles.

"Missed me, missed me, now Fox has to kiss me!" she cheered still running.

"I don't think so!" said Fox as he cut off Ellie and tried to grab her, but missed and grabbed Krystal.

"You know, that can be me and you Fox," she said while shaking the jar to further anger Krystal.

"Let me go Fox! We have to get those marbles!" she cried trying to get out of Fox's grasp.

"Whoa, whoa, whoa! Hold on now Krystal!" he said trying to keep her from running after Ellie, "It could be me and Ellie, but there is one thing me and Krystal can do that me and you, Ellie, can't," he said all smug like while grinning.

"Huh? What's that?" she asked no longer shaking the jar.

"This!"

Then Fox turned Krystal around and gave her big, long kiss, just to piss off Ellie.

"No! You can't do that!" she cried sadly then got angry and started screaming.

Fox and Krystal looked at Ellie with weird looks on their faces and Ellie threw the jar of marbles onto her bed and jumped at Fox and Krystal and a loud scream was heard.


	4. Ever think a psycho could be so young?

Ellie looked up, shocked at what she had just done. She had done one of the worst things you could possibly do to someone you truly adore. And she had bit the leg of Fox McCloud.

"AAAAAAH! MY FREAKING LEG!" cried Fox as he held his leg.

"Oh my gosh! I'm so sorry! I didn't mean to bite your leg! I meant to bite Krystal's!" she said apologizing.

"Ellie, how could you? That's not very lady like!" said Krystal tending to Fox's leg.

"Damn! It feels like a chunk of my leg meat was bit off!" he cried rolling up his pant leg to see the bite marks on his leg.

There were eight bite marks on Fox's leg, four on the top and four on the bottom. It wasn't bleeding, but it was red and a little purple in a small circle where the bite is.

"Man, that's gonna hurt tomorrow," said Fox while rubbing his leg, "and that's pretty damn close to my balls. Like eight inches or something," he said rolling his pant leg back down.

Ellie moved the chair out of the doorway and sulked out of the room feeling sad and sorry for what she had done. All the kids watched her leave the room and were confused at what'd happened.

Later that day, it was seven o' clock and Ellie's friends left after Ellie bit Fox, grumbling about what a lame party it was. Fox, Krystal, and Ellie all sat at the dining room table eating dinner. They all had bratwurst mixed in spaghetti with some added seasonings and buttered bread. No one talked throughout the whole time they ate and it was a very awkward dinner. After dinner, they all were watching T.V. until time passed by even more and it was eight o' clock.

"Well I don't know about you two but I'm gonna take a shower," said Fox walking up the stairs to the bathroom.

"I want you to go shower right after him," said Krystal.

She started walking up the stairs and was about to turn to go to her room when Ellie asked, "Can't I shower with him?"

"Absolutely not!"

"But why?" asked Ellie starting to pout.

"Because you might try something funny in there with him, besides, you are old enough and perfectly capable of showering alone," said Krystal firmly.

"But-" but Ellie was interrupted by Krystal.

"No buts! You are to shower right after Fox gets out. And that's final!" said Krystal while leaving Ellie still watching T.V.

"Darn," she said snapping her fingers angrily.

Several minutes passed and Fox had just finished taking a shower. He stepped out of the bathroom with the towel wrapped around his waist. He saw Ellie still watching T.V. and said, "Your turn," he said pointing towards the shower.

He started walking away when his towel got snagged on a part of the railing on the stairs and his towel came off, revealing everything. Fox screamed and gasped as he saw Ellie notice him naked and she started blushing then turned away. Fox quickly put his towel back on and ran off to his room.

_Damn it Fox! How could you let her see you naked you ass! _he said cursing at himself in his mind.

Fox changed into his night clothes composing of just blue pajama pants and no shirt. He stepped into Krystal's room and saw her meditating and he sat down on the bed.

"Um, Krystal? Could I talk to you?" Fox asked while watching Krystal.

"Sure. What is it?" she asked getting up and sitting next to him.

"Okay, when I stepped out of the shower a little while ago, I told Ellie it was her turn to take her bath and when I turned to leave and…well…my towel got snagged on the railing and Ellie saw…everything," Fox said grinning foolishly.

"Fox! You can't let a girl her age see your cock! How could you let that happen!" she asked very disappointed at Fox.

"It got snagged on the railing! I didn't no until it was too late!"

"Well, we can't do anything about it now," she said with a sigh then smacked Fox on the head.

"Ow! What was that for!" he asked rubbing his head.

"For letting her see your dick. Don't make anymore mistakes like that again, you could mess up her mind!"

"Or make her horny," then he got hit again, "Ow! I was just kidding!"

"Fox, stop acting like Falco. Now I have to finish meditating. Be more careful around her. Okay?"

"Alright, I'll try."

"Good," then Krystal gave him a kiss, "now I have to meditate," she said going back to her meditation.

Fox walked into the kitchen and got a glass of water when he heard the doorbell ring.

"Who could that be? Maybe Pepper got off early," he pondered while walking to the door.

He opened the door and saw Falco standing there with another smaller falcon next to him.

"Heeeeeey dude!" Falco said grinning stupidly.

"Are you drunk? Who's the little guy?" asked Fox referring to Falco's little cousin.

"Who the hell do you think? It's Leo, my psychotic cousin who likes to throw knives," said Falco rubbing Leo's head.

"Oh yeah…I remember like it was yesterday even though it was a couple of weeks back," said Fox going into one of those weird, hippy looking flashbacks.

A few weeks back, Falco asked Fox if he could baby-sit Leo for the day since he had some "family business" to take care of, family…yeah. Anyway, Fox was left with Leo who is a schizophrenia, which is a disease in which one takes on the role of many (you could be a doctor one minute then a crack dealer the next). He also has A.D.H.D. which is Attention Deficit Hyperactive Disorder which is really bad. And he's an insomniac which means he can't sleep which is a bad thing. So anyway, long story short, Fox escaped with his balls still dangling from between his legs…barely…

"I like cereal," said Leo with a psycho grin.

"Um…I know…you told me…fourteen-thousand, three-hundred and seventy-nine times," said Fox.

"I LIKE CEREAL!" screamed Leo.

"Dude! Shut him up before he wakes the dead!" said Fox shoving Leo and Falco inside.

"Okay. Well-" said Falco who was interrupted by Leo.

"I like chocolate milk," said Leo cutting off Falco.

"Hey Leo…FIRE, FIRE!" screamed Falco.

"DON'T WORRY I'M A PRO AT THIS! I KNOW WHAT I'M DOING!" he screamed like he's been on crack since…ever, "Stand back! Watch this!" then Leo cracks his knuckles, gets in a running position, and………………………………..farts, loud.

"Fire's out," then he calms down.

"Well, that was easy," said Falco smoothly, then looked at Fox.

Fox looked like his jaw had dropped to the ground and he looked at Falco like he turned water into an AK-47.

"IS THAT WHAT I HAD TO DO TO CALM HIM DOWN!" screamed Fox shaking Falco.

"Um, yeah. Didn't I tell you?" Falco asked still acting cool.

"NO! YOU DIDN'T!" said Fox still screaming.

"Okay, okay! Calm down fuzzy. Geez," said Falco making it seem like it was nothing.

Fox finally calmed down after a minute or two then said, "How was the therapist?"

"Therapist? Oh! Oh yeah! Uh… the therapist…he cancelled," said Falco obviously lying.

"Then why didn't you come back sooner?"

"I hate baby-sitting."

"Then why the hell did you say you would!"

"I was bored. My brain shut down."

"What are you, a stoner?"

"Only on my own time, I mean…no?" said Falco trying to cover up something obvious.

"Dude! You're a stoner? Why didn't you give me any of that stuff?"

"Cause you're a goody-goody," he said sitting down on a recliner.

"Okay, well…where's Leo?" asked Fox looking around the room.

As if on cue yet again, a shriek was heard from upstairs (floor number two), Fox and Falco ran up the stairs and saw the bathroom door open and Leo was standing in front of the open door.

"Hey! Your nude!" said Leo pointing at every place he's never seen before.

"GET OUT!" screamed Ellie as she slammed the bathroom door on Leo.

"Naked girly," he said trying to open the door, "it's locked."

"By any chance, did you show him porn?" asked Fox.

"Me? Falco? Show a young child porn? Why that's absurd!" said Falco defensively.

Fox looked at Falco with disbelief.

"Yeah, I showed him a couple of films."

Fox hit Falco then walked up to Leo and crouched to his height.

"I want you to forget everything you just saw in that bathroom."

"I want to see the naked girly!" he said pulling out three Japanese shuriken.

"Oh man not again!"

Fox ran as Leo tossed the first two shurikens at Fox, missing by a hair.

"Stop your psycho cousin!" screamed Fox as he hid behind a table he tipped over.

"Stop. No. Bad dog," he said reading a magazine while chewing bubble gum.

Leo threw the last shuriken and missed by the skin of tail, literally.

"Gah! That is some good accuracy! God damn!" he screamed holding onto his tail for dear life.

"I've taught you well, Leo," Falco said rubbing Leo's head.

"I like cereal AND NAKED GIRLIES!" he screamed again.

"Yeah, I know, now go to sleep before I tell uncle Mario what you did with his seventy-two inch plasma screen T.V."

"Okay…I like chocolate milk," he said hugging Falco's leg then circling him like a dog and laying down.

"Okay, he's weirding me out," said Fox slowly stepping from behind the table.

Krystal walked out of her room and saw Falco with Leo laying next to him and Fox beside the tipped over table.

"What the hell is going on out here?" she asked noticing the shurikens on the wall.

Then Ellie left the bathroom sprinting to her room (floor number three) in a towel that's bigger than her wrapped around her.

"And why is she so fast all of a sudden?"

"Let me explain," said Fox.

After about ten minutes of explaining and whacking Falco over the head, Krystal understood everything and also hit Falco over the head.

"You know, if you two keep hitting my head, I could get brain damage, and no one wants me with brain damage."

"Who says we don't?" asked Fox hitting him again.

"Hit me again McCloud and the knife throwing psycho wakes up with an SMG (sub machine gun)!"

"Fine, fine! Just…why did you come back?"

"I wanted to torture you."

"We've had a bad enough time here as it is. We don't need you making things worse!" said Krystal firmly.

"Whatever as long as I get paid."

"Okay, Corneria's Most Wanted," Fox said making fun of Falco.

"Some day, your gonna get it soooo bad," said Falco ready to kill Fox.

"Whatever. Don't wake your cousin or I'm gonna kick your ass after I somehow get the knives away from him."

Ellie came back downstairs and demanded an explanation about Leo and Falco acting like an idiot. They gave another ten minute explanation then went downstairs to the kitchen.

"So, basically what you're saying is, Leo is messed up?" asked Ellie.

"In a way…hey wait a second! You want me to wake him up? That's my cousin, and he fits in with the family. How do you think he got so good at throwing knives?" Falco said defending Leo and pointing to himself.

"You trained him to be a mini murderer?" asked Fox getting a can of soda.

"Not a murderer, a hitman."

"Falco, you are the most idiotic person known to anthropomorphic animals everywhere," said Krystal trying to stay calm.

(Anthropomorphic-any animal that can stand on it's hind legs.)

"Yeah, yeah, I'm dumb, I've heard it all before," said Falco eating some chicken he cooked up.

"So are you staying here or leaving soon?" asked Ellie drinking some milk.

"I'm staying. I get paid more if I'm here."

"Ha! I'm getting more than you," said Fox gloating.

"Shut up, it's not like Pepper knows I was gone."

"But we can tell him," he said with a singing tone.

"I can wake up Leo," he said mimicking Fox.

"I can forget I said that," said Fox still with a singing tone.

"How did Leo get so…messed up?" asked Krystal.

"Lots and lots of hard work…I mean brain damage…_yeah, brain damage_. Plus my aunt Maria drank a lot while she was pregnant with him," said Falco acting shifty.

"This is boring! Fox, take me to bed," said Ellie all pouty like.

"Uh, okay?" said Fox picking up Ellie and taking her to her room.

Krystal watched Fox take Ellie to her room. Ellie looked up at Krystal and flipped her off and had a look that said "I'm stealing your man."

"You little-" said Krystal but was cut off from Falco's laughter.

"Oh man! That's what's been going on since I left? I should've never left! Damn," said Falco still laughing.

Falco picks up Leo, without waking him up, and takes him to where they would sleep.

Krystal was left to wallow in whatever she was left to wallow in and pounded her fist on the table.

Fox laid Ellie down on her bed and was ready to leave when Ellie said, "Read me a bed time story."

"Aren't you a little old for-" but is cut off by Ellie.

"I want a god damn bed time story now!"

"Hey! Don't use that type of language until your thirteen! Then you can curse your ass off! Until then, don't curse, and I will not read you a bed time story," said Fox sounding like General Pepper, sorta.

"Can I have a kiss good night?"

"Go to sleep," said Fox as he closed the door.

Fox groaned and checked the time.

"Just two more hours," he said noticing it was ten o'clocl andwalking back downstairs, when he heard Ellie crying.

He went back into Ellie's room and she stopped when he walked in.

"What's wrong?"

"I'm scared of the dark."

Fox groaned again and asked, "Do you got a night light or something?"

"No."

_Then I wonder how you sleep at night _thought Fox.

"Okay, then how would I get you to go to sleep?"

"Sleep with me?"

(Again, I mean that in the most nonsexual way.)

"But I was gonna go downstairs and-" but was cut off again.

"But I can't sleep! Uncle Pepper let's me sleep in his bed."

"Oh my god why did I say I would do this," said Fox mumbling to himself, "just…think of me and close your eyes, now go to sleep," he said leaving and going downstairs.

"Okay, I get Ellie to go to bed and…Falco! What've you done!"


	5. I wish my life was this exciting

Fox was wide eyed and shocked as Falco was hanging upside down from the ceiling fan, Krystal was grafted to the wall, and Leo was pretending to a be a pirate and a salesman.

"Argh matey! I be selling dill pickles to ye for the price of ye booty! So what do you say? Your booty for pickles?" asked Leo whilehe standing in the wrecked living room.

"What've you done! Pepper's gonna have my ass for this!" Fox screamed starting to freak out.

Fox ran down the stairs and picked up Leo and shook while saying, "What do you have to say for yourself!"

"I like naked girlies."

Fox put Leo down and looked around the trashed living room. Krystal was grafted to the, Falco was hanging upside down from a ceiling fan that was still running so he's spinning and must be dizzy, and Leo was pretending to sword fight with Fox's leg.

"Argh! Your peg leg be mine!" said Leo tugging on Fox's leg.

"Are you calling me skinny?"

"Well you could use some fattening up," said Falco who's face was starting to turn green, "oh man…I'm gonna blow chunks," he said using one hand to cover his mouth, but then he slipped and fell to the floor.

Fox stepped over Falco and went to go help Krystal off of the wall.

"Are you okay?" asked Fox helping Krystal.

"My back hurts," she said rubbing her spine.

"What did Falco say to make Leo calm down? Oh right! FIRE, FIRE!" said Fox loudly trying to match Falco's pitch.

"THERE'S NO EXTINGUISHER! I'LL HAVE TO USE MY HANDS!" screamed Leo while getting ready to run and trying to fart loudly again but was struggling since he had no gas, " I MIGHT BE A WHILE! DON'T WORRY THOUGH! I WILL PUT IT OUT!" he screamed like he was constipated.

"How long do you think he will stand there trying to break wind?" asked Krystal starting to pick things up.

"I'll give him about five minutes," said Fox straightening things up.

"Oh man, I don't feel so good," said Falco getting up and holding his stomach.

"Your seasick matey! Drink some…er…what's good for seasickness?" asked Leo still sounding constipated.

"Um, laxatives?" asked Fox.

"No, that will make things worse," said Falco while sitting down.

Then out of nowhere, a really long, really loud farting noise was heard and everyone looked at Leo.

"I took out the whole building!" cheered Leo while rubbing his butt.

"Oh god! That reeks!" cried Krystal while holding her nose.

"Oh geez! That is…wow!" said Fox while holding his nose and dashing upstairs.

"I taught him to do that," said Falco proudly, "don't ask how."

"Lots and lots of hard work?" asked Fox sarcastically.

"How'd you know? I mean…yes? No?…Shut up toilet paper tongue," said Falco going to the bathroom.

"Hey! Only domesticated dogs or really stupid animals do that!" said Fox in his defense.

"And your domesticated! Get over it!"

"No I'm not!"

"Okay, FETCH!" screamed Falco while throwing a bone.

Fox, out of instinct (I guess), dashed for the bone and caught it in mid air with his teeth.

"Oh my god! I AM domesticated!" screamed Fox while throwing the bone at Falco.

"How many times do I have to tell you to stop hitting my head!" screamed Falco breaking the bone.

"Aw, you broke it."

"Next time, I'll break you," said Falco now eating a sandwich.

"Psssssssssssssssssssssssssssss…I like chocolate milk," whispered Leo to no one in particular.

"So do I, now go to sleep," said Fox rubbing his temples.

An hour passed by and Fox was half asleep while listening to Krystal and Falco talk.

"So…do you like Katt?" asked Krystal.

"What! No! She's so annoying. I hate her," said Falco still acting like a bad boy.

"Why? Did she do something to make you hate her?"

"Shefound out I exist."

"…That's it? When did you meet"?

"Well it all goes back to the second grade, long story short, it involves chocolate milk going down my pants."

"She poured chocolate milk down your pants?" she asked giggling.

"I don't wanna talk about it."

"Your childhood sucks," said Fox sleepily.

"Shut your face McCloud, before I make you!"

"I'm shaking in my…bare feet," said Fox with his eyes closed.

"Pepper should be back in about half an hour. You should go to sleep Fox," said Krystal making him get up.

"But I wanna be awake when he gets here so I can go home," he said still sleepily and trying to walk with his eyes closed.

"You might wanna open your eyes before you break something…or you," said Falco tripping Fox.

Fox fell down with a thud and fell asleep when he hit the ground.

"I think I killed him," said Falco nudging him with his foot.

"Falco! Stop messing around!" said Krystal giving him a migraine with whatever telekineticpowers she has.

"Ow! Fine, fine! Okay, just cut that out!" cried Falco holding his head.

"Help me lift up Fox," said Krystal grabbing his ankles.

Falco stood up and grabbed Fox from under his arms and helped Krystal carry him upstairs to his bed. They laid him down and covered him with the blanket.

"Let him sleep until Pepper comes back and we'll wake him up then," said Krystal with a yawn.

"Fine, as long as the pay is good," said Falco also yawning.

They walked downstairs and sat back down dozed off, quickly falling asleep. The sound of a door opening was heard upstairs as Ellie slowly creaked her door open. She stepped out of her room with something in her handsand walked into the room thatFox was sleeping in. She approached the bedside andstroked the fur on Fox's head and put fuzzy, pink ear muffs on Fox's ears. She gave him a kiss and said, "Sleep tight," then quietly left the room.

She peered downstairs and saw Falco and Krystal half asleep on the sofa, probably to tired to nitce her.She quietly stepped downstairs and tugged on Leo's shirt and woke him up. She motioned him to follow her and he did so. She took him to the kitchen and handed him two pots and a wooden spoon. One went on his head and the spoon and the other pot in his hands.

"Okay Leo, we're gonna take this stuff and make a bunch of noise throughout the mansion. I want you to lead and scream whatever comes to your mind," she said taking her own pot and spoon.

"Okay!" said Leo dashing to the living room with Ellie following him.

Leo banged on the pans as loud as he could while screaming the words to "Sad Statue" by System Of A Down.

"CONQUEST TO YOUR LOVER AND YOUR LOVE TO THE FIRE! PERMANENCE EVOLVING IN THE ABSOLUTE! FORGIVENESS IS THE ULTIMATE SACRIFICE! ELOQUANCE BELONGS TO THE CONQUERER!" he said while banging on the pots with the wooden spoon.

Falco and Krystal screamed and nearly jumped out of their furs as they held their ears trying to numb the sound.

"LEO! WHAT IN OUR FAMILIES NAME ARE YOU DOING!" screamed Falco.

"I'm playing marching band!" he said cheerfully.

"Run!" said Ellie and Falco and Krystal tried to take the pots and spoon away.

"THE PICTURES OF TIME AND SPACE ARE REARRANGED! IN THIS LITTLE PIECE OF TYPICAL TRAGEDY! JUSTIFIED CANDY BRANDY FOR THE NERVES! ELOQUANCE BELONGS TO THE CONQUERER!" he screamed while running throughout the mansion with Ellie, Falco, and Krystal following him.

"Keep running and singing horribly!" said Ellie as Leo started to run faster.

"Leo! Get back here now!" screamed Falco getting angrier by the second.

_This night couldn't get any worse_ thought Krystal.

"YOU AND ME WE'LL ALL GO DOWN IN HISTORY WITH THE SAD STATUE OF LIBERTY AND THE GENERATION THAT DIDN'T AGREE! YOU AND ME WE'LL ALL GO DOWN IN HISTORY WITH THE SAD STATUE OF LIBERTY AND THE GENERATION THAT DIDN'T AGREE! I FORGOT TO I FORGOT TO LET YOU KNOW THAT! JUSTIFIED CANDY BRANDY FOR THE NERVES! ELOQUANCE BELONGS TO THE CONQUERER! CONQUEST TO YOUR LVOER AND YOUR LOVE TO THE FIRE! PERMANENCE EVOLVING IN THE ABSOLUTE! FORGIVENESS IS THE ULTIMATE SACRIFICE! ELOQUANCE BELONGS TO THE CONQUERER!" screamed Leo as he ran up the stairs to the third floor.

"Leo! Stop singing! You're gonna make everyone go deaf!" screamed Falco as he started to slow down from chasing after them.

Krystal ran past Falco and caught up to Ellie and grabbed her and picked her up.

"Hey! Let me go! Your hurting me!" screamed Ellie as she struggled to get out of Krystal's grasp.

Krystal stared Ellie down and looked at Krystal, who doesn't look all that great late at night.

"You know, you should really get some sleep. You look old," said Ellie poking Krystal's face.

"Why you annoying little runt!" screamed Krystal in Ellie's face, "I'm going to teach you a lesson!"

"Hey! What're you doing!" said Ellie while shrieking as Krystal laid her across her lap.

Krystal removed Ellie's pajamas and panties raised her hand into the air and swiftly brought it down on Ellie's behind. She kept spanking her over and over until Ellie's rear turned red. Ellie kept screaming in pain every time Krystal spanked her until she stopped after spanking her for about a minute and a half.

"Now GO TO BED!" screamed Krystal as she watched Ellie walk off to her room.

"Now…we just…just gotta…stop Le…Leo," said Falco, panting between every word or two.

"Where did he go?" asked Krystal now realizing Leo was gone.

Then they heard Leo still singing and running.

"YOU AND ME WE'LL ALL GO DOWN IN HISTORY WITH THE SAD STATUE OF LIBERTY AND THE GENERATION THAT DIDN'T AGREE! YOU AND ME WE'LL ALL GO DOWN IN HISTORY WITH THE SAD STATUE OF LIBERTY AND THE GENERATION THAT DIDN'T AGREE! GENERATIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOON! WHAT IS IN US THAT TURNS A DEAF EAR, TO THE CRIES OF HUMAN SUFFERIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIING! SUFFERING NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOW!"

Falco and Krystal ran after Leo trying to grab him but he was kept going faster every time they caught up to him.

"Doesn't he ever stop!" asked Krystal getting frustrated.

"Not the way I trained him," said Falco starting to regret bringing Leo.

"YOU AND ME WE'LL ALL GO DOWN IN HISTORY WITH THE SAD STATUE OF LIBERTY AND THE GENERATION THAT DIDN'T AGREE! YOU AND ME WE'LL ALL GO DOWN IN HISTORY WITH THE SAD STATUE OF LIBERTY AND THE GENERATION THAT DIDN'T AGREE! GENERATIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOON! BELONGING, BELONGING TO!" sang Leo.

Once Leo had stopped singing, he slowed to a stop and sat down then fell back and went to sleep.

"I thought he'd never stop!" said Krystal relieved as she picked up Leo and walked down backstairs with Falco while carrying Leo.

Krystal and Falco sat down and Krystal laid Leo down next to her and looked at the clock at it just struck midnight.

Pepper walked in still holding onto his briefcase. He looked at Falco and Krystal who looked tired as a person could look and asked, "Was it that bad?"

Krystal and Falco slowly turned their heads to General Pepper and stared at him.

"Guess so. Well, thank you for taking the time to baby-sit my niece. Your pay has already been forwarded so you can go home whenever you feel like," he said going upstairs to his room.

"I'm never baby-sitting again," said Krystal as she rubbed her eyes and started heading upstairs.

"I'm never bringing Leo anywhere again," said Falco following her.

They walked into Fox's room andnoticed the ear muffs but didn't care andwoke him up and told him it was time to go and they were already paid. They said their good-byes, in a very, very sleepy tones and called a cab to take them to the base where they left their Arwings. They just barely made it back to the Great Fox with the way they were flying and were able to dock their ships right. They all walked, while slouching, to their rooms and collapsed onto their beds, not bothering to do anything else.

The next day, Fox, Falco, and Krystal all woke up exhausted from last night and they all took showers to wake themselves up (they didn't do that together and they all didn't wake up at the same time). Everyone greetedeach otherand they all sat around in the living room when they got a call from Pepper.

"General Pepper here! Good morning, Star Fox. Did you sleep well?" asked Pepper.

"It felt like I was living a nightmare," said Fox covering his face.

"I'm sorry to here that. But…I have another baby-sitting job that I'd like you to-" but was cut off by Fox, Falco, and Krystal.

"NO!" they all screamed in unison.

"We mean… maybe you should get someone else this time, sir," said Falco trying to convince Pepper.

"You always come to us for most of the missions so, why not give someone else a go at it?" asked Krystal, also trying to sound convincing.

"So you're saying you don't want to," said Pepper in a dull voice.

"Yes," they all said in unison again.

"Well, far be it from me to make you, but I might not have many assignments again."

"We know general, but we'd like to take a little break," said Fox.

"Okay, but if you decide to change your mind, the offer still stands. Other than that, an animal rescue team needs some help cleaning the animals. So if you'd rather do that, go ahead. Pepper out," then he closed the holo-screen.

"I don't wanna go," whined Falco laying on the sofa.

"I don't wanna move," said Krystal with her head buried into her arms on the table.

"I don't wanna do anything anymore," said Fox falling to the ground.

"You guys are lazy," said Slippy leaving the room.

"Back in my day, young people like yourselves would spring up to these types of offers," said Peppy while chuckling and eating a bagel.

"Shut…up," said Fox, Krystal, and Falco in unison again.

Well that's the end of this story! I say, I did a pretty good job…but I'm me so…yeah…well I'll think of something. Till then, that's it for now!


End file.
